Pedro is dead

Our kids have three chores lists, the first is the morning checklist which helps them to get ready in the morning without my having to nag. I am no sunshine and roses morning person so its best to follow this list rather thank risk angering mom who has not yet had coffee. The second is the evening checklist which involves actual chores as well as homework. The third is the weekend checklist which involves chores like cleaning the toilet and other fun activities. For the a.m. and p.m. lists we pay a nickel a chore each time it is done. If it is not done then I have to nag and you still do it but no nickel. Weekend chores are more intensive and we pay a quarter a chore. Same principle applies – the chore WILL be done, the option of earning the money is up to them. Banana faithfully does the chores no nagging required. Gorilla is slightly less focused but is motivated to earn the money. They cash out on the weekends. They don’t make a lot of money off of the lists but they are pretty excited about it. How they spend the money is somewhat up to them. They can save it or they can buy something with it, but I have ultimate veto power. It takes a few weeks to earn anything worth buying. They also have to tithe 10%

When we totaled up our money at the end of the week and after several weeks of not spending, we had managed to save $5 and change for Gorilla and $6 and change for Banana. They decided that they were ready to go shopping. In today’s world $5 won’t get you much so I was hesitant but thought it would make a good lesson in the value of money so off we went. As we passed Petcetera it struck me that if the pooled their money together they might be able to buy a Betta fish. They have been talking about getting a aquarium and I’d rather get a fish then a toy any day! We discussed it and the kids agreed that they would like to pool their money. When we got inside we discovered that the Betta’s are less than $5 each! Wow! 2 fish! With various vases at home that were roomier than what they had at Petcetera, I figured we were laughing. We picked two pretty boys out and headed home with supplies in hand. Gorilla named his Pedro and Banana named hers Margaret. I informed her that they were male and she suggested Billy, then Adam. Neither seemed to fit so after some discussion we settled on Maxwell. A distinguished specimen indeed.

That was Saturday. Monday morning Gorilla announced that Pedro was just “layin there”. I zoomed in thinking “oh please don’t let him be belly up!!” He wasn’t. But he was covered in white fur. I am no fish expert but it didn’t look good. He was still gulping but it was labored. I smiled and said “oh he’s just resting” and we headed off for school. Monday mornings are tragic enough without adding a dead pet to the mix. During my lunch break I researched Bettas attempting to find out what was wrong with Pedro other than the fact that he is from Thailand and we gave him a Spanish name. Fungus, rot and bacterial infections were all possibililties. Attempts to improve his life failed and sadly, he passed away with a sad little gulp. He did not float belly up. Oh crud. I went through a mini dialogue of “do we deal with death head on and I splurge for a new fish? Or do I cover up this disaster and pull a Gaylord Focker switch?”

You wait with baited breath…. What will magnificent m do?

Let me give you some background on Gorilla. He is a sensitive boy. He cries when people are hurt in stories. He feels deeply. He still mourns the loss of a dog he barely remembers. He still talks about the Guinea pig that met an untimely death quite some time ago. He frequently asks when Boomer and Noel will die and one of the first things he said when we brought Pedro home was “when will he die?” Gorilla is somewhat like his mother in that he likes things to be planned and scheduled and he would like me to keep him informed when things like rain and death are to occur.

For me the death of Pedro was slightly anxiety provoking. After a husband-less week I didn’t feel emotionally up to a heart-wrenching discussion. And to top it off I had a meeting and I wouldn’t be home when he got home from school and I didn’t want to sic this issue on lovely nanny.

Decision made, its time for the Gaylord Focker switch… pedro was no jinxy thankfully so I didn’t have to secretly train the fish to flush the toilet or anything else. I did however have to find an identical match and unlike Gaylord, spray paint was not an option. Sadly when Betta die, they change color so I was having some trouble with identifying the identical match. Fortunately for me Gorilla is color blind and he isn’t a detail man so I figured I could pull it off.

I am happy to announce that Pedro II is happily swimming in his vase and so far no one is the wiser. Except all of you, please keep it to yourself!! And no lectures on how I missed the opportunity to teach my child about death – I’m sure Pedro II or Maxwell will die soon enough and we can do it then!