Some weeks are just bad. Some weeks make you wonder why you chose the job that you chose. Some weeks cause you to fantasize about no longer working anymore. And then there are days like today where you go "oh yeah... that's why and boy does ____ make me feel super happy!!" I had one of those weeks followed by one of those days.
On a not so good note, I was crushed by work this week + juggling various family issues + feeling ill and was unable to get much done thesis wise. This is how I fell this behind in the first place. The pressure of juggling my children, my parents and my mother's health issues (don't ask!), and my job which is crazy with a capital K sometimes and can just be overwhelming. I am trying to do all of it perfectly and naturally not achieving anything close to perfection. I keep trying to reduce my work hours but everyone seems to find this alarming and is holding on to me for dear life. Let go people!!! I have a thesis to complete!!! Sigh. I'd like to say gee I am just not dedicating myself or managing my time but I can honestly say that is not the problem. The only way it will get done is if I give up family time (my weekends essentially) or give up work hours (believe me I'm trying!!!!) or abandon my parents (hmmm that seems rather ungodly so that isn't going to work and besides I'm an only child so its me or nothing). So what do I do?
Clearly something has got to be cut and despite my efforts, my work hours seem to remain frustratingly constant so I am going to have to give up some of my family time to complete this beast. This makes me sad. I hate to miss even a day with my children. And when I look at it from a realist perspective, I can't help but wonder "why am I even doing this??!" I think I need to spend some time in prayer and then listening.
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