Speedo sightings

Banana and Gorilla are taking swimming lessons at our local indoor pool. I must say I have yet to have a trip to the pool that does not result in something that makes me say "hmmm".

today's adventure included men in speedo's. Not just that one scance sighting that makes you raise a brow, no today I saw multiple men in speedo's. One had what could only be called a low rise speedo. It bordered on being called a Brazilian thong. There was crack, there was cheek and it barely covered the monty's. I was scared. There was another young man who was barely more covered. Yes, I know they were competitive swimmers but still... Its not the Olympics here, I doubt that 1 extra inch of fabric will slow you down that much! Heck, the aerodynamics (or is it aquadynamics?) of holding the monty's in a bit more securely has got to balance it out! Now to clarify it is not as though I was oogling young men - that's gross, I prefer my men to be a bit more mature. I'm no cougar - but this was like an accident, you try to avert your gaze but there is some hideous magnet that just makes you stare in horror. These young men were young enough that they were not yet paunchy, there was no beer belly and they were not yet overgrown by hair, but still the speedo's looked horrible. Lets face it, if the young can't even wear them, who can? I would argue that no man looks good in a speedo and that we should revolt against them and just say "no".

The whole event was a flashback to my backpacking trip through Europe which included a stint in the French Riviera. While there my girlfriend Lana and I had this encounter with two men in rather small speedo's. They were seriously overtanned, with gleaming white teeth and black speedo's. I actually don't remember much past the teeth. I do remember them attempting to talk to us (in French) and both of us struggling to maintain our composure and speak... Well actually Lana clammed up and left me to do the talking. I have never been so thankful that someone's teeth were so distracting because there was really no where else to look that was safe.

My second disturbing bathing suit siting was of young girls in provocative swim wear. Now I'm no prude but there is something disturbing about 9 year old girls in tinikini's that barely cover anything. I saw several youngin's in bikinis the size of my big toe today. Shameful. What is worse is that no one can swim properly in swimming suits that small. Lessons require one swim and move in the water, tininkini's, as any woman knows whether they have worn one or just seen one, are not meant for actual swimming. They are meant for meeting men of bad taste who are only interested in one thing anyways. The whole event was disturbing.

The last siting was not of a swim wear nature,but a child with a ducktail. Remember the ducktail? The long strand of hair that is much longer than the rest of your hair. The rest of the hair is short and there is just this weird one piece that is really long? Oh yeah,most of you are too young to remember when that was cool. I had one when I was 11. Why? I don't know. Anyways, some precocious 8 year old boy is trying to bring it back. Again, just say "no".