Crash tested husband

Yesterday was one of those days where I was exhausted by 7:30 and simply crashed. I found myself watching crash test mommy, a show where a mom's biggest critic takes over for her and attempts to do her job. I think I've watched the show a grand total of 3 times... it seems rather formulaic. Last night's episode however struck a chord so to speak. The husband was the critic and mocked his wife frequently, both to her face and to the camera. I was stunned to hear him say things about how all she did all day was sleep or that when they were at the park his wife would probably just sit on a bench and read and implied that she was lazy. He went on to say that he would show her how it was really done. Between interviews of his wife and his quotes throughout the day it became so clear that he was completely controlling and frequently mocked his wife's efforts. Meanwhile wife made all of their food from scratch, homeschooled and kept a meticulous house - Yes, we all know how easy it is do that and squeeze in afternoon naps...?! At one point he also mocked his 13 year old daughter and she appeared devastated. I thought I might cry at that point! The show relies on this premise that about 3/4 of the way through the weekend the critic realizes how hard the job is and takes it all back and tells the mom how great she is. The show stuck to its formula but to me it seemed as though at the end he still didn't get it. He begrudgingly admitted that perhaps she worked hard but there was no realization of his own behavior. The wife cried and told him that he was a wonderful dad and that she loved him and that he shouldn't change (?!) and they said the whole event was successful.

I felt so sad for her. I was struck by the fact that my man, and any real man in my humble opinion, would never treat a woman that way. A marriage should be built on respect... both parties bring something important to the table, regardless of whether society labels their job as important or not. When I found out I was pregnant with Banana I told DH that I had always planned on staying home with my children and his response was "oh good, I am so glad you feel that way, I do too!" I stayed home for many years, through two somewhat unplanned pregnancies, financial challenges and many events and through it all my contributions were great in his eyes. After a full day of work, he walked in the door ready to share in the rest of our daily duties with me every day and always valued all that I did - even on the days when Banana was not even 2 and Gorilla was a newborn and it was a good day if I had time to shower, forget doing anything else! He has always supported and valued my contributions - when I was home full time, when I ran a daycare out of our home to help pay bills, when I returned to work part time, when I returned to graduate school and now that I am back at work close to full time. He is my biggest cheerleader, my shoulder to occasionally cry on, the person who rubs my back when I've had a hard day and the first person I want to tell when I achieve success and in turn I do the same for him (minus the crying part, lol! we save that role for me). I am so grateful that our paths were meant to cross.