The Ring

Yesterday I drove to Blaine Washington to pick up this super cool, dare I say RAD, surfer wall mural that I ordered for my son’s bedroom from Pottery Barn Teen. I love Pottery Barn. I do not love that they don’t ship to Canada.

The drive was long and irritating, only because the entire route was marred by construction. Long waits, traffic jams and rude fellow drivers can suck the joy out of almost anything. Nevertheless, it was sunny, I had the sunroof open on my Jetta and the music loud. Sadly, I left my cd’s at home so I was stuck with radio… found myself singin along to some bad 80’s music… but that is another entry.

So I found myself sitting in a the wrong lane at the border. Wrong because it looked shorter but proved to be about 10x longer. Grrrr. Wrong, because it was long and lets be frank, I drank too much water and had to pee. As I sat there in line, listening to yet another Kelly Clarkson song, I was looking at my engagement ring. When I was pregnant with my first child my fingers swelled and I had to get it cut off. I kept it in my drawer and finally put it back on when my daughter was about 8 months old only to get pregnant again a month later. (maybe it’s the ring’s fault!). It was still cut and I left it that way, cuz hey, I was swelling yet again. GT’s! (good times!) It was off for awhile, then on, then I started working with small children and in a rather challenging situation, my ring caused a small scratch on one of my students and I took it off again. I began wearing it again in a few years ago. Its still split and I kept thinking “gee I should get this fixed…” but life moves fast and there is no time for the ring.

It felt a bit loose yesterday. Thankfully I am not pregnant and therefore no swelling! Phew! I went to squeeze it tighter and it snapped in two. Wow. Who knew I was so strong?! Must be all the typing I have been doing, am building buff fingers! Sweet!

A bit sad perhaps. It can be repaired. It’s a bit ironic though because a few weeks ago my darling hubby gave me a new ring. He surprised me with a very romantic, eloquent and heartfelt re-proposal. Its our ten year anniversary this year and after many years of troubles, we wanted to renew our vows. He decided to make it official and ask me to marry him.

I loved my husband when he asked me the first time and I loved him very much when I married him. But I can say that I know so much more about love now. I know the depth of love that I think one only comes to know through the trials of life. It is easy to fall in love and to love someone but it is harder to stay in love. It is even more difficult to stay in love when life becomes so challenging, when sadness sets in, when you experience loss. We loved each other then but we learned to love one another completely through the trials of our life. The last ten years have been very challenging and I’m not sure you could pay me enough to repeat them, but I wouldn’t change them.

He is my rock, my shelter, my mountain, my river. He is the only person on this earth who truly understands me and knows every side of me. He makes me laugh, smile, occasionally swear and sometimes cry (mostly good tears – lol!) He supports me, he encourages me, he suffers through me, he listens… he builds me up so I can stand on mountains… oh wait that is a cheesy song!

So I said yes. Its official we are going to get married again. It will be different this time. This time we’ll invite the people who have been in our lives and who know us. It won’t be such a big affair. It won’t be so expensive! I won’t wear white. I won’t be pregnant (hmmm, maybe the white wasn’t the best idea! Ha!). I will drink wine. My son will walk me down the aisle. There won’t likely be an aisle. But there will be so much love and joy and it will be so fun!

Perhaps that old ring is symbolic… My new ring has three stones, one for the past, one for the present and one for the future. It is beautiful.